It's OK to cry

Depression Sucks Man!  

It is straight out of the pits of Hell!

It is a depressing subject. 

Not one people talk about in polite society.

But I'm gonna ramble on anyway. I suffer the effects more often than I would ever admit to any of my friends.  Suffer in silence as it were. Some days are good some days are bad others are really bad. Some days you're holding it together with a fake smile so you don't cry in public, job, church, store, pick a venue. No one sees. No one knows.  

  People that don't suffer with it have no idea what you are going through. It sucks! You don't want to be a burden or someone that always is unhappy & complains about life.  So you keep it inside.  Slap a smile on your face and make jokes to deflect. 

It's Ok to cry though. Crying is like washing you soul.

What a lot of people don't know is depression can actually physically hurt. Your body aches, you can get a massive headache, your body can feel sooo heavy, it's a chore just to lift your legs to walk. to get out of bed.

There are a lot of reasons for depression, Chemical imbalance, Physical trauma, mental & emotional trauma. Feeling fat, unworthy, unlovable. Lonely. Not sure why you are sad( that one is usually a chemical imbalance). Overwhelmed.  All are valid reasons it is ok to feel it, but you don't have to stay there. There is help in all aspects of it. You don't have to go it alone.  I always thought that I had to be the strong one, the one that took care of everyone.  Don't be a burden.  My father always told me growing up " no one wants to hear your view, opinions or voice so keep your mouth shut"  so I did & I haven't opened it till recently.  Still working on that actually. I am going through trauma counselling with a Christian counselor.  It is helping.  I have started taking natural supplements to help regulate my mood as well.  Someday I will learn how to smile at myself & not be repulsed at what I see & feel. Someday!!  Getting closer every day.  I am writing this to get my words out of my head & if it help another feel they are not alone then all the better.  Right about now I usually have a joke or something to make another person smile or laugh. It's just my personality. I love to make people smile and feel better.  so here goes 2 nuns & a priest walk into a bar. Duck, Ouch, Ouch, Ouch. Jesus' says I told you to duck.  

I could go on about feelings and all that but Instead I am going to tell you what has helped me in the past and has helped a lot of others with depression. 

Get out of bed. Make your bed (gives you a feeling of accomplishment). Take a shower & brush your teeth (lets you feel like a human again). Get dressed (real clothes not lounge clothes, a sense of pride in yourself goes a long way) Drink the coffee & spend time with the Lord even if it is just to cry out for him to give you strength to get you through the day, the hour or even the next few minutes.  Let him hold you.  Take a deep breath in hold for 4 seconds let it out slowly, repeat if needed to regulate your breathing. 

Know that you are not alone even if you think you are. There are support groups all over the place. Or you have that one good friend you can always count on but haven't even told them what yo feel. I bet you can talk to them & they would be there for you for this as well.  They may not understand but getting it out helps believe me. And God & his Son Jesus are ALWAYS there to listen. Dump on them their shoulders are broad they can take it.

Well lovies that is all the ramblings I have this time.  next one hopefully will make you laugh

Mick